'Last Comic Standing' Season 9 Finale Recap: So, Who Won This Thing?

'Last Comic Standing' Season 9 Finale Recap: So, Who Won This Thing?

Are you ready for this finale? Michael Palascak, Dominique, Ian Bagg, Andy Erikson, and Clayton English are our top five tonight, ladies and gentleman. One will win the big prize, and the rest will walk away with... nothing, really. Credibility? A line to add onto the "Special Skills" section of a resume? 

"I'm expecting everybody to bring their best," Keenen claims, saying that the show is responsible for national exposure. So there's that too, I guess!

Backstage, the contestants are mulling around. "You know when you got an "In 'n Out" Burger and you feel excitement? And then you get the fries with the animal style on top? And you feel ... sick?" Ian Bagg asks. That's how he's feeling tonight.

Rod Man from last season stops by, and tells the finalists that he's super proud of them. (Supposedly his NBC development deal is in the works, I think. I Googled him the other day, since I was wondering if that prize was actually a real thing.)

Anyway, we're ready for some comedy. Host Anthony Jeselnik comes out, makes some joke about L.A., and then explains the finale -- it's straight comedy this time, and each comedian will perform a set. The "Top 10" that didn't make it are cheering their friends on from the audience. As per usual, Anthony introduces our judges.

Michael Palascak

Michael Palascak is up first. He was the new kid in a small town, which is how he developed his sense of comedy. "This is a guy who could star in a sitcom," Roseanne claims. His montage includes a lot of moments that would be way more thrilling had this season been longer than eight episodes. 

"Love is weird, you know? One of my friends got a divorce," he starts. His friends claimed "I didn't feel like I loved her anymore." "Oh. I don't feel like I love my family sometimes, but I'm never like 'Oh. I need to find a younger, hotter family,'" Michael jokes. "Michael, where have you been?.. You smell like meatloaf..." 

"I got to be home for my mom's birthday recently," he says. He asked his Mom what she wanted for her birthday. She said "I just want somebody to help me clean up the basement." "Oh, well it's not Make-A-Wish..." Next, he jokes about how a younger family member asked him why checkers only has two players, but Chinese checkers is for a wider group. "Chinese checkers has six players, since there's a lot more people in China," Michael explains. 

Michael ends with talking about living with his parents. "Michael, you can't live at home with your parents forever!" they say. "Oh. Well, I don't want to think about you guys dying," Michael quips back. 

Norm finds him to be authentic, especially with the "staying with the parents" jokes. The other judges have no real criticism, and Michael generally feels pretty good about his set. "He's a presence for sure," Roseanne states.


Dominique's "Best Of" montage is up next. Remember when she talked about her biological father sending her a friend request? Funny stuff. Feels like it was only a week or so ago when we heard it last. (Sorry -- I'm seriously bitter about this truncated season.)

Dominique greets the crowd and starts talking about fads. "Eyelashes. I think eyelashes are nice, but I think you have to wear them appropriately. I went to Wendy's last week and the girl on the counter couldn't even take my order, her eyelashes were so heavy. Like she at the club! I was like, where are the whites of your eyes at?" Dominique does an impression of the cashier, her eyelids completely closed. "She young, so at least she got a chance to get it together. I'm worried about women in their 40's -- you're already losing your vision at a rapid rate."

Speaking of women in their 40's, what's the deal with high heels? "You can't afford to fall. You ever been in your 40's and almost fell? You're like.. thank you Jesus, I almost killed myself! And I don't even know why heavyset women try. You already weigh 250 pounds -- why would you try to put it on stilts?"

Anthony asks Keenen what he thinks, and he loves the "older woman's take on the world." Norm thinks that an older person has an advantage over a younger woman in stand-up comedy, based on overall life skills and experience. Roseanne loves the fact that her material is relatable, but thinks that the eyelash joke went on a bit too long. 

Ian Bagg

Before Ian Bagg hits the stage, the finalists talk about what they'd do with an NBC show. All of their ideas are kind of terrible. Then, we get Ian's montage -- the Lululemon joke! The call-outs! 

"Well hello," Ian starts. "I went to Afghanistan to do shows for the troops. I say kind of, since I didn't make it." According to Ian, his plane crashed. "How did I survive? I had Xanax." He needed it since he only had jokes, while the others had guns.

He claims that the women in the audience are probably way dirtier than the men. "I can guarantee that every woman here has two personal massagers here, and one doesn't work," he says. "It's not even sexy, it sounds like a propeller plane going into a cloud," Ian claims, before doing a long impression of the noise.

"I've been married for two years, so I've probably been married longer than anyone here, so if you have any questions..." Someone in the audience claims they've been married for 26 years. "How do you keep it fresh?  Switch teeth and look at each other?" Ian jokes. And that's pretty much the end of the set. 

"Ian never let the room dictate," Keenen states. "That to me is what a pro does." Roseanne thinks the set "killed," but she doesn't think he did as well as he could have. Norm liked the noises he made while he was impersonating a vibrator. Oh, Norm. 

Andy Erikson

Next up is Andy Erikson. "She's like a human cartoon," Norm states in her monologue. Keenen assumed she'd be disastrous, but she was.. less than disastrous, which is why she's in the top five. Then they show footage of her pretending to be a cat. Her background for her final set is, actually, a cat riding a unicorn. "I wanted it to represent me," Andy states.

Andy then takes the stage. "Uh, I got into a fight today? With my alphabet soup? I was like, stop putting words in my mouth!" "Why can't you be more like Spaghettios? They're like, OooOOo!"

"My favorite thing about Twitter is that you can put your friends in lists, and you can call the lists whatever you want! So I made a list called 'People I Have Killed'" she jokes. Next, she makes a weak joke about playing a trick on her hamster, and a Geography joke about how "If Hungary could attack a country, it would attack Turkey." Guys, I can't. I just can't.

"It's like you've been telling these jokes since you were six," Keenen says, ending with saying that she's really fun to watch. "You're funny in a way which nobody else is funny," Roseanne claims. "I love you!" Norm McDonald talks about Bob Dylan, saying that he abides by rules of poetry. "You should live beyond this world. You should live in another place with unicorns, and so forth," he says. While Andy cheers, Anthony responds with "No, he's saying you should die."

Clayton English

Finally, we've got Clayton English. "His material is so universal," Roseanne claims. "I've got to represent for Atlanta, since we have some funny people there," Clayton admits to the camera.

Clayton starts his set like a pro. "You shouldn't have to pray for something you shouldn't be praying for. Like, I shouldn't have to pray to make it home safely without the police pulling me over," Clayton says. "And I know Jesus understand. He hung around thugs. He did! Jesus had 12 disciples, that's 13 people everywhere you go. If that's not gangster, I don't know what is." In a restaurant, they'd say "We need a table for 13, and we all want to sit on the same side!" 

Next, Clayton discusses accents. "I like working with Africans, they work hard," he says. "Their accents are really strange. They start loud, and then they get smaller."

"Ladies, I see you all in here. We got some cougars. I like you all cougars, you just need to make adjustments," he jokes. One adjustment? Vocabulary. After all, cougars can't say "All right now, take off your britches!" 

"I like how you move around stage like a boxer," Norm says. "It's interesting to watch." He couldn't think of any criticisms, since he was enjoying the set. Roseanne agrees with Clayton's fighter moves.

"He's got heart. He's got heart and the love, that's for sure," Roseanne claims. Keenen thought that Clayton would change the energy of the room, especially since his sets start pretty similarly, and enjoyed his set immensely. (Personally? I think he had the best set of the night.)

Announcing The Winner

In just moments, the winner will be announced. But before that, Anthony wants to hear from the judges one last time.

"I have nothing but love for each of you," Keenen states. "Unfortunately, only one will walk away with the prize, but each of you have your careers ahead of you."

Roseanne thinks that all of them are "the cream of the crop" and wishes them congratulations.

Norm thinks that stand up is the most competitive art form that exists, so this will help them. Also, he congratulates them all.

So, who won?

... Clayton English.

Again, I think he had the best set of the night. But as far as anticipation goes? Well, there's glitter in the crowd, but.. I feel like I still don't know the dude. Clayton will be on Late Night and The Today Show, which is pretty great -- and of course, he'll be on the Last Comic Standing tour.

Congratulations Clayton! We'll be anticipating your NBC show. 

(Image courtesy of NBC)


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